Beautifully Damaged: Lost in Detroit by Tracee Boyd

Author:Tracee Boyd [Boyd, Tracee]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Royalty Publishing House
Published: 2015-12-22T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 11

No one could have ever told me that writing could be so therapeutic. When Tracy first told me she wanted me to start writing in a journal, I really didn’t see the point but I obliged because I respected her so much, and now I was going to need a new one at the pace I was going. At first I didn’t see the point in writing down all the craziness that had happened in my life, and the actions that had landed me in a mental institution, but getting all my feelings down on paper made me dig deep, and it was such a relief to release all that negativity.

“Check you out,” Tracy greeted, coming into my room and taking a seat across from me at the small table near the window. “I heard you’re going to all your meetings, but you’re not participating too much.”

Placing my pen down, I glared out the window and my eyes fixated on a bird flying alone, but it looked like it knew exactly where it wanted to go. That’s how I wanted to feel–confident and able to fly on my own.

“Tracy, I love writing. I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t see the importance of writing down my feelings, but this is so good for me. I’m not at the point yet where I feel comfortable talking to a group about why I’m here, but I feel I’m making progress and that’s good enough for me right now.”

“I’m glad you see a difference, but I also want you to make sure you take your medication. Stop thinking negative about it and just think of it as another avenue to help you get out of this hole you’re in. There’s such a stigma attached to people who take medication or have to seek professional help, but never mind all that; we want you well, and I need you to meet me half way so you can fight for your life with a level head, and get out of here.”

Tracy’s words soaked in, and my main goal was to get out of here and try and live a normal life. So many people had been hurt by my actions, but when you feel like you are out of options, you do things you wouldn’t normally do in order to feel safe and secure. As crazy as it may have sounded, I felt like the psychiatric hospital was my safe haven. Yes, I wanted to walk out of here and into a new life, but when I sat back and thought about everything that had transpired, what life did I have?

“I’m ready to get my life back on track Tracy, but so many people have judged me and assumed things that it’s going to be almost impossible to start fresh. The news stations were going crazy with this story, so I can only imagine what it’s going to be like when I’m released.”

“Who cares what people think? Your main priority should be getting better so you can get out of here.

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